Bullet To The Heart
by GibbsnJennyslilgirl
Summary: Tony DiNozzo is caught in the biggest war of his life! Fighting to keep the woman he loves and the son he never had a chance to know. Ziva DaVid is in unfamiliar territory when it comes to matters of the heart, she is hurting and the only person she wants to talk to is currently the one she must stay away.
1. Chapter 1

"Oh Tony" she gasps as his lips covered hers for the first time, maybe the room dimmed but something happened she wasn't sure all she knew was that she couldn't turn away no matter how wrong it was. Her heart melted as she felt his tongue caressing hers. Dear Lord, the kiss was as tender as rain drops on a spring day here and then gone. His lips sent shivers down her spine through her entire being. "Oh" escaped her lips as moved his attention to her neck trailing kisses down to her collarbone and the swell of breast that was exposed through her blouse.  
Tony stared at the woman before him, as he undressed her. She shudder as his caressed a pink nipple that was asking for some attention and mouth watered for he longed to suckle on her like a babe an involuntary groan ran through his lips as with the though he felt his erection harden. "Ziva are you sure?" He asked on a sweet sigh as he unbuckled her pants and allowed it to fall to free around her ankles and for the first time he undress a woman and had to remove a gun it was intoxicating, he was caught in a haze of nothing but sexual desire. In a few seconds he had removed her lacy underwear and she was naked before. Wow! In all his years of having women in his bed he had never had one more beautiful, one who made him ache with need to plunge into her and seek sweet release.  
She was in a haze she couldn't find words non from the five languages she spoke seem to measure up to when he took a pouting nipple into his mouth, a soft cry was dragged from her soul and she was limp against the wall and ministered to her body. He was an attentive lover the way he laced attention on her breast molding them caressing her hair kissing her lips, while she fought desperately to get him out of his clothes. And then he too was naked. She drank in the view of him all majestic in his nakedness. "Please" she whispered as she crushed his body to her and without words their bodies spoke with each other danced together in movements as old as time. "Je t'aime" the words slipped passed her lips wrenched from the core of her being there was no way to take them, all she could do was hope he felt the same. But as he snuggled her in sleep satisfaction he broke her heart with the words he spoke.  
"Jeane" Tony whispered in his sleep this was his goodbye to her as he drifted sleep holding the woman who was a apart of him as breathing was...

**Author's Note**: **_I really hope you liked. Please leave me a review I would really appreciate knowing you liked and the errors I made. Will try to update as soon as possible._**


	2. Chapter 2

_Okay, I have not abandoned this story just lost my outline so I had to make a new one… Sigh…_

_My apologies for the delay. I do hope you enjoy and leave me a review this time around._

_GJ_

**Unhappy Heart**

Finally she understood rule number 12, Ziva fumed while she scoured the memories of the past evening from her body; she welcomed the heat of the water burning her flesh as if by doing so she could remove his touch. Over and over she chanted in her head 'to me he is dead.' She forced her heart to not to feel anything, forced her mind not to think as she dressed. On the way to work she did not let her mind wonder nor did she allow any thoughts of him to invade her mind, she was trained in the art of assassination, taught to feel no pain and give nothing away. She was Ziva David daughter of no-one, lover of no-one she was a loner and she could do this, 'to me Anthony DiNozzo is dead' she chanted in her mind as she walked off the elevator and towards her desk. "Hey Ziva, Gibbs looking for you" McGee said as she placed her bag-pack on her desk.

"McGee…" she said in greeting then nodded "where is he?" she asked. McGee pointed in the direction of the director's office. "Thank-you" while Ziva walked towards the stair case she heard the elevator door opened and without warning her heart hammered into her chest, he was here she knew without even turning around she felt him deep within her soul. 'He doesn't matter' she told herself as she opened the door to the director's office. "Good morning" she greeted both men and looked at Gibbs

"Good of you to join Ziva," Vance said and handed her a folder marked confidential. Slowly she opened the file and gruesome pictures filled her sight, marines all dead. The walls bloodied with writing, 'Death to America' "We have a covert mission for the team; one of our own has been kidnapped and is being tortured…" Vance said and placed a photo graph of Erica Jane Barret on the table. She was bloodied and looking lifeless "…she was tracking a group of terrorist in Miami, she located the cell and infiltrated the group, however she was discovered and the terrorist has decided to use her as a message to other agencies…" he continued handing her another photo graph. Memories flooded her mind of the horrible time she had spent as a prisoner in Somalia. Something within her went out to EJ, because she knew firsthand what she was going through, her skin crawled with the memories the way he had touched her like he owned her, she had given up and prayed for the day when he would take her life and then Tony, McGee and Gibbs-l.

"Ziva!" Vance called "Are you with us?"

"Yes. I am, how can I help?" she heard herself ask.

She listened attentively while Vance told her of the extraction plan, it was simply and straight forward enough, until the door opened and Tony walked in.

Tony looked at her, she looked flush and there was a storm rolling in and the moment their eyes met it was gone disappeared like the wind it was never there, suddenly his heart started hammering in his chest fear and anger fused into one as he did not know where he stood with the woman before him and he was angry, she had walked out of his bed with not even as much as goodbye. "Agent DiNozzo, Agent McGee, Special Agent Gibbs, do you believe we can get everyone home safely? In all honesty this mission is risky but I can assure you that I believe you are the-"

"With all due respect director, you do not have to sell us, EJ was one of us and we will bring her home" Gibbs said with a look of determination in his eyes.

"I know…" he said as they excused themselves.

Gibbs called them to his _conference_ room "Tony, Ziva" Gibbs began looking at them, their faces shrouded in pain "This is a covert mission it is not mandatory so Ziva if you do not believe you are up for this let me know, Tony you were involved romantically if your head won't be in the game I want you to sit this one out. McGee, are you up to it?"

"I am in, Gibbs" Ziva said willing the memories to lie still to be swept underneath the rug from whence they came.

"My head is in the game" Tony answered

"I am –Boss" McGee said

Gibbs turned the elevator on with a proud smile on his face "You have twenty minutes, make them count and leave all cell phones in the office they might be tracking us he said and he step out of the elevator

Ziva changed into more comfortable clothes in the locker room; she looked up in the mirror and saw Tony entering the room. He leaned against the door and watched her wondering how he would begin the conversation they need to have. "Can we talk?" he asked watching as she worked her way into the shirt.

"Now is not a good time Tony I need to focus, and so do you" she said pointedly as she braided her and pinned it into a tight bun at the nape of her neck.

The woman was nothing short of infuriating, she dragged him through motions, happy, sad, crazy she drew him crazy but somehow after the night they shared he thought things would be different instead he found things were pretty much the same if not worse.

"When we come back then?" he asked pushing away from the doorway to stand behind her while she began to methodically clean her weapon.

Ziva felt her anger boiling despite her efforts to remain came, she wanted to hurt him, she wanted him to leave but deep inside she knew she needed him to stay and that scared her more than the mission they were about to embark on. Fear an emotion that was foreign to her until she was captured. "Tony, last night was a lapse in judgment for both of us, yes?"

The words caught Tony off guard and his mind swam trying desperately to understand what she was saying but pain stood out more than anything else.

"I see, so it was a mistake?" he asked blindly staring at the floor not bothering to look at her.

She turned around to face him and smiled "Yes, by the way maybe when we get back you should visit Jeanne" she quipped and walked out of the locker room leaving Tony dumb folded.

_;

"Let's go" Gibbs called across the bullpen as they grabbed their bag and headed to the elevator.

Ziva felt Tony's eyes on her while she closed her eyes and tried to calm her thoughts while they drove towards their destination. It was quiet everything; from the Silver haired leader to the Timothy McGee everyone was silent each fighting their own personal demons, each determined to win.

Night was rapidly falling as they watched and waited for their opportunity to strike. "Ziva I need you to cover Tony, McGee keep the engine going, I will be there" he said pointing to the building across the street.

The night hummed as they waited for Gibbs signal "Archangel go!" Gibbs shouted into the mouth piece and it began. Their senses where on high alert as Tony entered the building with Ziva on his six and he knew he was safe the room was empty and the smell of gas was everywhere.

"Something is wrong" Ziva began as they checked room by room finding them empty. "Boss I think we might have fallen into a trap" she stated.

"Then get out." Gibbs stated as his gut started churning with nervous energy something was wrong, very wrong but what he could not say.

"There is one more room" Tony spoke up and walked down the corridor and gripped the handle volts of electricity jerked him back and suddenly all the doors began to close. "It's a trap!" Tony screamed as the blinking light of the bomb timer indicated they had two minutes till dooms day.

"McGee we need a way out!" Ziva commanded on edge while her eyes scoured the filthy house for the bomb.

"I'm going to make one!" Tony said aiming his pistol at the door.

"Fire and we are dead before the two minutes" Ziva stated as she kicked against the doors.

"McGee we have only a minute!" Tony rushed, his eyes glued to the timer.

"My signal is jammed I can't see anything…" McGee said frantically as he tried to find a way to breach the security of the building. "Boss!"

_50 seconds_

Ziva removed her earwig and began tracing from the timer to locate the bomb.

"Shhh…" Ziva commanded as she heard a faint cough "Did you hear that?"

_45 Seconds_

"Yes… its coming from in there… Get back!" Ziva watched as Tony raced and kicked the door that denied him access earlier.

40 seconds

"It won't budge" he said as he raced towards it again.

"Maybe together?" she asked as they raced toward the door.

**CRASH! **


	3. Chapter 3

_**30 Seconds to live!**_

_30 Seconds_

"Don't come…" EJ tried to speak while her throat burn and constrict while she tried to speak "any closer" she finally managed.

Ziva shook her head, as she tried desperately to shake the memories from her mind. EJ was stewing in her own bodily fluids feaces, urine and vomit. Ziva cleared the battle within her as she surveyed the room to locate the bomb which was surprisingly easy.

EJ was the BOMB!

Ziva took a step forward and EJ tried to warn her. It was all a trap, their first direct attack against the Federal Agents. They had told her that someone would come for her and they would all perish because she knew there was no escape the place wired, with some many traps that it would take them days to find a way out of the maze.

Tony looked at the woman who was so full of life, now broken, and discarded on the floor. Anger flooded his veins as cautiously they approached her.

Ziva attended to the bomb that was wrapped around EJ, "You should not have come" EJ said faintly while her eyes burnt with the urge to cry, however dehydration would not allow her such pleasure.

_20 Seconds_

"Ziva! Tony!" Gibbs called while he and McGee tried without any success to locate an entry point.

"Tony, Red or blue?" Ziva asked as she her held the knife to the wires Tony looked from Ziva to EJ, knowing that this moment could be the difference between life and death and it was solely in the hands of Ziva David, his partner. He sighed wishing he had the chance to set things right before their demise or before they left this room before once they did they would be once again on the battlefield each scaring each other none willing to give up. "Any last words?" she said interrupting his thoughts.

"Yes, I'm so-"

_10 Seconds_

Snip!

They all tensed expecting to be engulfed in flames instead all the doors began to open. EJ saw the happy faces and wish she didn't have to tell them that there was another bomb and that they were all going to die… She knew there was no escape from this hell hole, she tried too many times to escape only to run into brick walls and be punished for the attempt. She never gave up until now when she had done exactly what they wanted lured other agents to their demise and she knew it would not stop, someone would come to avenge the death of Tony and Ziva… Yes Gibbs would come and he too would fall and then they would come for revenge for him. She had to warn them "There's another bomb set to go off ..." cough… cough… "the minute this one is disabled…"

"Where?!" Tony asked

"There's no time!" she screams "Go! Get out"

"We're not leaving you!" Ziva said looking at Tony who read her mind and stood on the other side of EJ, lifting her. "One, two, three" and together they lifted her.

_5 seconds_

"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" a strangled cry escaped EJ's mouth as they moved her and blood began running from her abdomen. Suddenly Gibbs and McGee were there helping, lifting, carrying her.

_3 seconds _

Ziva gave up her hold of EJ as Gibbs took her place and McGee lifted her by her legs and she applied pressure on the wound that was pulsing her thickened blood. They move briskly down the hallway to the door which they had entered.

_2 Seconds_

"Leave me! Go!" EJ protested weakly her eyes looking with Gibbs for the first time. A joy a peace descended on her, they had come for her, they came. She thought as the cold breeze of the night kissed her skin. Freedom only inches away.

_1 Second _

"Ziva get the car" Gibbs ordered and she let go of EJ and raced through the open doors towards the car.

**KA-BOOM!**

The ground beneath her shook and she watched in horror as her _family_ thrown by the impact of the explosion. "Nooooooooooooooooo!" she screamed racing back to them.

Gibbs was scrambling to his feet but she saw the pain etched across his face.

EJ was on top of McGee who was not moving.

Tony, where was Tony? She scoured the scene for him as she raced towards McGee, he was unconscious.

"Where is Tony!" she asked aloud to Gibbs who was also assessing the scene looking for his agents.

"There!" came the answer as he pointed towards the doorway, where flames where dancing around him.

"I've got McGee and EJ, get Tony!"

"I am fine!" Ziva yelled at the doctor who was attending to her bruises. She was worried, Gibbs had lost consciousness. Tony had not stirred during the drive to the hospital; McGee and EJ were still very much out of it. She paced the doctor's office and she felt like she was stifling, it had been two hours and they had no news.

"Yes, but that nasty cut on your arms says otherwise." He stated with a smile while he tried to bandage her wound, she had not even noticed that she had been hit or was bleeding until the doctor started cleaning the cut. "This might sting…" he began and was interrupted by a soft knock on the door "Come in'' he called as he removed the debris from her wound.

Ziva looked around her heart did a double take as her eyes looked on to the familiar face of Jeanne Benoit.

Her eyes became steel as she registered Ziva's presence memories of _him_ ran wild in her mind. She closed her eyes and looked towards her friend Doctor McKay, "Ahh, you're here-"

There was a loud commotion on in the hallway and they tried to locate the source.

Gibbs was frantic, he woke and they weren't there!

He was alone in a room filled with bed but he was alone and cuffed. He did not care that he had to haul the bed behind him. He was going to find them and they were going home. He had a gut feeling that something was very wrong and he had the urge to escape before danger found them while they were physically weak. Nurses and doctors were shoving at him trying to get him back to the room but he was not going not without information.

"Sir, you should not be out of bed!" A middle aged African American woman said while she gripped him and tried easing him unto the gurney he was dragging behind him.

"No! Where are my kids" it was a strangled request.

Ziva pulled away from Dr. McKay, past Jeanne and rushed towards Gibbs.

"Gibbs, I'm here" she said as she rushed to his side.

Through the corners of her eyes Ziva saw the security approach with gun. "Take a step closer and I will kill you where you stand!" she said, her gun drawn and aiming at the heart of the officer.

Loud gasps and screams echoed through the hospital hallway as he lowers his taser gun, fear washing through him. Somewhere in a hushed whisper someone instructed someone to call the police.

"No need to she's a federal agent… NCIS" Gibbs said getting his bearing, she was safe, how was the rest of the team? He wondered as he lopped an arm around shoulder as he gave in to the throbbing pain in his leg. The security gave Ziva a nervous smile as he un-cuffed Gibbs. Ziva eased Gibbs unto the gurney and stood by him guarding him.

"I'll take him back to recovery" Jeanne said.

**AN: Well I really hope you like this update.**

_-GJ_


	4. Chapter 4

_**Okay so I am loving the reviews! And the alerts and the follows you have made me extremely happy! **_

_**Alright I hope this update isn't too long. And I really really really hope you enjoy it.**_

**Waiting Room**

Ziva felt Jeanne eyes on her without even raising her eyes to look at the other woman. Gibbs watched the curious glances Jeanne sent Ziva's way and inwardly smiled, while sleep took him once more. "I will check on the others" she whispered and without the will to stop herself she placed a kiss on his forehead. "Do you know if Tony is out of surgery?" she asked not wanting to look her not wanting her to see what the mere whisper of his name did to either of them.

Jeanne's heart sped up at the mention of his name. HE WAS HERE! Her mouth became dry because her brain seemed to have forgotten the importance saliva played. She knew Ziva was waiting for a reply but she could not find her voice as fear was crippling her. She inhaled deeply and pulled from the pain she had felt when he had shattered her world and came up with a reply, while she formulated an exit strategy. She did not care if they were under-staffed tonight there was no way she was allowing him to destroy her new found peace again. "Which Tony Denardo or DiNozzo?" she bit out as she adjusted the flow of fluids in Gibb IV.

Ziva sighed, on one hand she could not quite blame Jeanne, but weren't they long passed that?

No!

He stilled called her name in his sleep and by the sad and painful looks on her face she too was still in love with him too. So why was it that it felt like her heart was tearing apart? Anger sizzled through her veins along with an emotion that seemed foreign but if she was honest she had felt it before only this time it came ten-fold. "I do not know by what name you know him I only know him as Tony-" Before she could finish the double doors to the recovery room opened and they pushed in Tony and McGee. Relief washed through her a fresh, putting aside the pain, rage and jealousy that were boiling inside her.

"Miss" the doctor beckoned and she walked over to where he was scribbling something in McGee's chart. "You came in with them?" Ziva nodded as she looked on her colleagues pale faces. "He will pull through with probably only some bruises and a headache, he suffered a nasty concussion but the damage should not be lasting… This gentleman," he sighed, gave her a smile "please have a seat?" he half asked as the man within him appreciated the stunning beauty of her, even though ragged and dirty he did not need his degree to know that between all the dirt and grime was a very beautiful woman.

He saw her stiffen and her mouth pressed into a firm line her eyes grew dark and she stood her ground. "No, please continue" she said and he heard her very thick accent, it was sexy he had to admit.

He smiled at her and received a scowl "very well then, this gentleman he has the risk of temporary and or permanent paralysis, he fractured his spine…" he watched as she took a sharp breath and swayed. "Um are you sure you are fine, you look a little pale and you ought to have that cut looked at" Dr. Winston said and walked towards her, and began to examine the wound. "Does it hurt?"

"What does it matter to you? Can you please complete your report on my friends" Ziva had not meant to sound so cold, she watched the doctor flinch as he drop the hand he was about to use to inspect her arm.

"As I was saying he fractured his spine, it may be permanent or temporary but we will not know until he regains consciousness. Your other friend, she is mess we had to pack her and send her to ICU, she has lost too much blood it would be suicide if we continued with the surgery, I will not give you false hope it would be a miracle if she came out of this." He said and stepped back and scribbled something on Tony's file then checked Gibbs as well and walked to the door and paused to look at her "-" he opened his mouth then closed it again walked through the doors and back to towards the elevator.

The doors to the recovery room opened again and in came, the Director, Abby and Ducky. Their faces mirrored her concerns as they looked at the other agents. Abby rushed over to Ziva and hugged her tightly. "Oh My God! What happened?!" she asked releasing Ziva and rushing to Gibbs. "Gibbs! Tony! McGee!" her eyes filled with tears as she spun around the room. "Ziva, say they are okay!" she pleaded looking like a frightened child.

Ducky caught her as she tried to leap on the bed. "Come dear" he said and held her close and she laid her head on his shoulders and cried. Ducky soothed her.

The door opened again and in walked in Dr. Winston gone was his scrubs, now he wore a coat he beckoned Leon to the corner of the room where others could not hear. "I'm Doctor Winston and I understand that you are the director of NCIS, your people are a long way from home… Leroy Jethro Gibbs has torn his ACL, Anthony DiNozzo has fractured his spinal cord and I can't say much more until he wakes up, Timothy McGee is stable but he suffered a concussion from the explosion he should be up as soon as the medicine wears off with a major headache but nothing is out of order. Erica Jane is still in the deep woods, I cannot tell you more till we take her back to surgery, she is in ICU and in her condition we can't allow her any visitors she is too unstable." Dr. Winston leaned his head in Ziva direction where she was seated in the middle of the agents. "Can you convince her to check her arm?"

Leon gave a half smile "Thanks Dr. Winston, how long-"

"Uh" McGee opened his eyes and he tried to move his head that felt like a car was sitting on it as his head throbbed.

"McGee!" Abby gave out a high squeal that caused his ear drums to explode the throbbing headache to worsen. The lights in the room hurt his eyes, so he closed them as soon as he had opened them. He licked his dry lips and tried to lift his head but it swam with pain. Memories of the explosion surfaced in his mind. The team, EJ! His eyes flew open again and this time he fought against the pain, and tried for a full sentence.

"Abby, where's Tony… Gibbs" Swallows saliva, "Ziva and EJ?" he finally managed to ask as Abby lifted a glass of water to his lips while she ran her fingers through his hair, stroked his face and tried to hug him as much as possible.

Abby's eyes filled with joy, love and yet he could see the storm wasn't over just yet because her eyes were also worried, and her bottom lip wobbled as she parted her mouth to speak or so he thought until her lips came in contact with his. The kiss was brief brush of her lips but it held a promise, an apology it held so much emotion he felt his heart still, and then she smiled "Ziva is to your right and Gibbs is still asleep, Tony too, EJ, I'm not sure. But I'm happy you are okay Timmy!" she said and hugged him while his sore body screamed in pain. But he knew better than to complain that was Abby and she was going to hug you until she felt you. She kissed his forehead and moved as the doctor came and as if the lights weren't already creating havoc he pulled out a penlight and opened his eyes and shone it on his aching eyes, while he introduced himself.

"Agent McGee, do you know why you are here?" Dr. Winston asked as he turned off his penlight off and replaced it on the chest pocket of his coat.

"There was an explosion, we went to rescue an agent and the place was wired we were hit" he replied squinting his eyes. He felt a brief squeeze on his arm and turned to see Ziva.

Dr. Winston smiled, scribbled something else on McGee chart and patted his shoulder. "Very good, now" he turned to address the worried faces in the recovery room "You are not allowed in recovery for long periods of time, I will be transferring Agents McGee and Gibbs to the medical floor for further observation. So please… Dr. Benoit " he called and she appeared at his side. He whispered something in her ears that made her go pale and she stared at Tony.

Ziva watched as she opened her mouth and closed it and almost staggered out of the room. Ziva was vigilant as the nurses and the porters carried out Gibbs and McGee while Vance, Ducky and Abby followed behind them. Then she blended into the shadows.

* * *

Jeanne entered the room a little past 2am to check on Tony before she signed out for the night. Her heart was racing, he was still out of it and the doctors were worried that it was more serious than it appeared, because he should have awoken by now. She felt conflicted as she approached him, he had cause her such pain with his lies he had wounded her more deeply than she had thought possible he had changed her life in some many. He stirred, as though dreaming, she picked up the clipboard with his chart and out of nowhere Ziva emerged from the shadows. "What are you doing?" Jeanne jumped she had thought they were alone, she knew no one was there when she entered the room, so where did Ziva come from. Jeanne swallowed hard and met the gaze.

"I was checking his chart, what are you doing in here, didn't Doctor Winston ask you to leave?"

"Do you always do what you are told?" Ziva replied while she glared at Jeanne. "I am just protecting partner it is my duty to protect him" she finished.

"From me?" Jeanne asked as the when place verbal slap landed where it was intended.

"Yes, you did try to frame him for murder" Okay so yes she was outraged that Tony had lied to her and betrayed her trust then her father had been murder after being pursued by Tony. Was it that far a stretch?

Tony heard the familiar voices as he tried to open his eyes, but his eyelids kept on closing, his mouth was parched dry like the time he had spent in the desert , trying to avenge Ziva. Ziva! That was the voice he heard. He fought his eyes open but the face he saw wasn't that of his partner but that of a woman who had haunted his very dreams for longer than he w as willing to admit. "Jeanne" he whispered her name.

* * *

**_So what do you think?_**

**_Please leave a review, now for the angst and romance I have been dying to right. And this is 100% TIVA!_**

**_-GJ_**


	5. Chapter 5

**_I must apologize for the lengthy delay in this post but I had tests, so I had to study. Sorryyyyyyyyy._**

**_Well what can I say about this post? I'm not so sure I have captured their essence but I did try. Please let me know what you think._**

**_-GJ_**

* * *

**Making Amends**

Tony clears his head, blinks his eyes as she looms over him and he wonders wildly if he was dead. She was there. Tony heart hammers in his chest. She was more beautiful than he remembered; her hair was cut low and her beautiful eyes shone as though at any minute she would start crying. While his body is riddled with pain he tried to lift himself to take her hand because he knew her all too well. Did she come back for him? Did she forgive him? He didn't know but he knew that he was than happy to see her. But why couldn't he move? Why couldn't he feel his legs and why was he not moving? Tony looked around the memory of the explosion fresh in his mind as she came towards him throws his sheets back and does something to his legs. Panic ensued when she asks "do you feel that?" she asks her voice a shaky whisper.

"No" Fears begins to grip him as concern and tears fills her eyes. She licks her lips and came into the closer to him. "What's going on Jeanne?"

She swallows hard and blinks fast and hard willing the tears not to fall. "I will get your doctor" she said and holds his hands. Tony grips her hand and caresses the back of it, beside him her eyes meets his and he watches the emotions play across her face. He felt sick knowing that some of the pain that she was trying to hide was inflicted by him.

"Aren't you my doctor?" he asks hopeful. She shakes her head and her eyes continue to shine with unshed tears. "Jeanne, I'm sorry" he whispered still caressing the hand that was responsible for saving so many, she was talented. She was beautiful. She shakes her head and pulls her hand away from him.

"Tony, sorry isn't enough" she says and walks off to the door. "Sorry doesn't even begin to make up for it"

"I know but it's a start" he replies as a man in white coat enters the room.

"Agent Dinozzo, how do you feel?" he asks doing the same thing that Jeanne had done only now there was a tingling feeling in his legs.

"I've been better, but I'm not complaining" he says and sends Jeanne a knowing smile. It was an unspoken agreement.

"During the explosion you sustained injury to your spine, can you feel that?"

"Yes, doc what are you saying?"

Dr. Winston gave a hopeful smile. "Right now, I'm saying this is very good. Any pain?" he asked looking over to Jeanne and for the first time he realized that Tony bore a frightening resemblance to her son except for his hair that was brown like his mom. He watched the way her eyes were looking at him with a mixture of pain and love. He had not seen that look in so long, not since his wife had passed on three years earlier when she died from a brain bleed after she had fallen. He missed her terribly. He cleared his throat and looked from Jeanne to Tony. "Agent Dinozzo, we are going to run some more x-trays, so I can tell you more and make a treatment plan for you. The good thing is you have feeling in your legs, but I am sure doctor Beniot will take excellent care of you" he said replaced the chart, his pen and walked out the room.

"Was there any truth to it?" Jeanne asks once more, repeating the words she had said to him when she had left after accusing him of murder. Where was the anger that had fueled her for so long? When did it die? Why am I not running? How will I tell him the truth?

Tony swallowed while memories surfaced in his mind. She had asked him before as she boarded the elevator the last time he saw her. But wasn't she worth the leap?

"Yes, there was truth to it, all of Jeanne, the moving the late night calls the I love you they were all true the only thing that was not true was my name, and my occupation." He stated with a hopeful smile.

Her smile mirrored his own "That simple?" she asked and looking up at him, not sure if she should listen to her heart or her head. Her head was telling her that this made absolutely no sense at all, but her heart desperately wanted to believe. But here was the man she had picked up the phone to call so many but had decided against it, he was here saying that he loves her and God knows she loves him too. But was this enough? Could she really tell him her secret? Would he accept them? Or would he tell her it was all a dream again? "Tony… I…I" she shuttered. The doors to the recovery room flew open and in bounced four year old Renè Benoit.

"Mommy!" he screamed racing towards her and on his heels was their sitter June looking flustered and tired. She opened her mouth to apologize but Jeanne waved it away as she braced herself for the impact of her weight as ran to her. "Mommy! Auntie June fell and I called 911" he said sounding a little proud of himself. Jeanne scanned the woman's pale features and looked at the woman who had been her confidant and best friend since the day she had discovered she was pregnant, they had gotten close in prenatal class but when June suffered a miscarriage in her second trimester it had only built their friendship.

"Hey, wait in my office I'll be right out." She said and for the first time since her secret was blown she turned to see Tony. He was as pale as the white sheet he was laying on, his mouth was open, and she watched his breath come hard and fast against his lips no doubt in shock. "Tony?" she said as she watch his blood pressure rise on the monitor.

"Why didn't you tell me?"He asked his voice was course even to his own ears.

My, my how the tables turned quickly as she stood before him guilt ridden. "You said it meant nothing what was I supposed to say, by the way I am pregnant?" she asked, conflicted. She didn't know if she still had the right to be angry, oh Lord she was tired of being angry, she was tired of the indecision, she was tired of the lies she had to tell him she was tired of questions that did not have answers to. "Hey baby, go after Aunty June, I'll be right out" she said and kissed his forehead and bounced off.

"Jeanne, that is my son, I had a right to know!" he said anger radiating through him. Why was there suddenly this hole in his heart?

Tears were filling her eyes as she sat beside him and held his hand. "Tony, we can't change the past, but we can change the future" she said and leaned over and kissed his cheek.

"I'm sorry Tony" she whispered in his ears as a tear rolled onto his cheek.

Though Gibbs says that apologies are sign of weakness he did not care right now. "I'm sorry too" he answered.

"I will be right back" she promises as she gets up and walks to the door.

* * *

Ziva felt the tears stinging at her eyes, while she knew it was invasion of privacy, she had not dared to move from her place in the shadows. She did not know what hurt most the fact that he had not asked for them or the fact that he was moving on making amends. All she knew was that right now she needed an escape route she had to get out of here before she flood gates opened and she began to cry. She waited until he closed his eyes then she emerged from the shadows and started towards the door. "Ziva?" she heard her name. Her feet stilled and her body turned and she faced him and something in her broke. "You were here the whole time?" it wasn't an accusation but a statement and a question rolled into one.

"Yes," she answered her voice foreign to her own ears, he smiled at her and she closed her eyes. She was not going to do this here not before him. Not ever.

"You are well, how are the others?" he asks relaxed while she felt like she was dying inside.

"EJ, is still in ICU, I'm going back to check on Gibbs and McGee" she said and turned from him.

"Ziva" he called and she lost it.

"What!"

"I was going to ask if you were okay" he said while he looked at her with confusion.

She shook her head and forced her eyes close but there was no mistaking the tears that were building, tears she would not let fall but if he did not let her leave she was going break down. "What do you care, Tony?"

Their conversation at the yard came back to him, and he tried to understand what was going on in his Israelis' head, why was she looking like she was going to kill him? And why was she so desperately close to tears?

* * *

_**So what are your thoughts?**_


End file.
